Overcoming Loneliness in Rural Neighborhoods: 6 Fun Tips

I was reading a post the other day on Reddit titled “Day 715 of living in Maine.” I am starting to feel (somewhat) accepted by the Mainer neighbors. It got me thinking: How long does it take for neighbors in rural neighborhoods to accept a new person or family in town?

I know from first-hand experience that it does take a lot of time to get to know people in a new rural area—or rather, for people to want to get to know you.

Here are some tips on dealing with rural neighbors in rural areas around Maine and the United States.

Give Then Time To Get To Know You

One thing you have to understand is that people in rural neighborhoods are used to a slower pace of life. They’re not used to having new neighbors move in every other week, so it’s going to take them some time to get used to you.

You are no longer in an urban town where life changes faster.

Everyone in a small rural area town knows everyone else who has lived there for a long time, and a newcomer is not often welcomed with open arms. They are so ingrained with their long-time friends that they do not seek new friends.

However, I often wonder if any remember how it first felt to be a newcomer to a rural neighborhood.

Others will say, “Just be patient, and they’ll come around eventually.” They are speaking from experience.

Don’t Take It Personally If Rural Neighbors Are Not Friendly

It’s not that they don’t like you; they don’t know you yet. They don’t know what kind of person you are or your intentions. So, don’t take it personally if rural neighborhoods are not initially super friendly. These neighbors need some time to warm up to you.

Another reason it takes so long for neighbors in rural areas to accept newcomers is that they want to make sure that the newcomers will stick around. People in small towns have seen too many families move in and then move out again after a few months.

There’s a sense of relief when a new family has been living in town for a year or two and shows no signs of leaving. However, we decided to sell our home recently after 5 years and move to another state once it’s sold. (Stay tuned!)

Lastly, some rural neighborhoods are meant for people that are not people-friendly. They want to live in rural areas not close to their neighbors. They are not bad people, but they are more lonely and like to spend time alone than with others.

Be A Good Neighbor

Don’t be a neighbor who plays loud music at all hours of the day or lets your dog run around loose and chase others nearby. Even though there may not be leash laws, keeping your dog on a leash is best.

One of the hardest things to get used to when I walked was having big dogs running up to me unleashed!

Being a good neighbor means your rural neighbors will not have anything to complain about you.

Get Involved In The Rural Neighborhoods Community

Getting involved in the community is a great way to make friends and be accepted by your neighbors. Volunteer for local organizations, attend town events, and generally participate in the community’s day-to-day life.

You can check your local community news for ideas. You or your family could join:

• Bowling league
• Hunting club
• Garden club
• Church group
• Book club
• Health club
• Pot luck dinners
• Chamber of commerce for business owners

The more they see you around in the rural neighborhood, the more they’ll accept you as one of their own. I’ve volunteered at the local health and wellness center and the town elections in our rural area.

How Long Does It Take People To Become Friends?

According to Social Self, becoming good friends takes around 200 hours of shared quality time. The more often you hang out, the more quickly you’ll become friends.

But don’t rush the process by pressuring someone to hang out always.

In general, hanging out once per week is often enough when getting to know someone, even in rural neighborhoods. If you have things in common with your rural neighbors, there is a better chance you will spend some time together.

Then, you will get to know one another.

Don’t Fear The Flatlander Term

In our area, new people are called Flatlanders. What are flatlanders? A person who lived at or was raised by someone at a low altitude or from any city. A person not raised in or by someone directly from high mountain areas.

A friendly neighbor told me it took 20 years for others to not call her a flatlander. So you and I still have some time and adjustments to go through.

That is another difference between being in an urban area and the types of neighborhoods that we live in. 

Conclusion of Rural Neighborhoods

Moving to a rural area can be a tough adjustment, especially if you’re used to living in a city or town where everyone knows each other or has family nearby. But don’t worry if your new neighbors aren’t friendly at first. It’s common in rural neighborhoods for it to be that way.

Just give them time, don’t take it personally, and get involved in the community, and they’ll eventually come around.

How did you find your rural neighborhood neighbors when you first moved in? I’d love to hear about it in the comments section. Please share this post with your friends.